Learning patience

Bill W., Fort Myers, FL

Caring for Aging Parents

Listening to, and watching my mother decline from long distance across the country, it’s been a real eye-opener to me. It started four years ago, and I was convinced that my mom had just gotten mentally lazy, physically lazy, just apathetic to taking care of her basic responsibilities to manage her own independent life. “Come on, Mom, just send me a simple text message. Come on, Mom. It’s just an email, just open it and reply. Why are you forgetting to pay some of your basic monthly bills?” These were the conversations I was having with her what seemed over and over again for a couple of years. Once I flew across the country and visited her in Nevada for an extended period, I realized that this is just how it is now, and I needed to change my outlook and temperament with her. When I reflected back on her life, she’s always been a worker, go-getter, person who takes care of her responsibilities in her life. However, now she’s just slowly become a different person. My mother has health issues and a slow cognitive decline that I need to manage, be patient with and ultimately accept. Of course, we all hear stories about aging adults, but no one told me how to prepare for and manage a declining parent. My advice is to look for the early signs, keep a close eye on their health, how they’re managing it and gather up all the patience and understanding you can muster to help your parent or parents in their twilight years.